(Circa 2009)

I’d like to tell you what happened to me in Target today.  I can’t take my children anywhere without some sort of event, comment, or otherwise comical episode occurring and today was no different.

I was tasked with the responsibility of buying a baby gift. This person had registered at Target and included in her list were breast pads.  Knowing the importance of these little suckers, I decided to buy her a box along with the other goodies we had chosen for her.

As the kids and I perused the baby section, we slowly walked into the aisle containing the breastfeeding supplies and I looked for the brand she had registered for.  I began to hear whines of “oh my gawd!” and “this is so disgustin’!” from my little heathens, as the older two quickly began to read the box labels and realize what we were looking at.

I’m a huge proponent of breastfeeding and nursed each of my kids to the point of feeling like I was part Holstein.  I’m proud of the fact I nursed and treasure the moments I had with each of my kidlets.  I reminded them of this fact as they professed their disgust and continued to hide their eyes and feign anxiety attacks in Aisle 17.

Mattea, particularly disgusted, replied, “Well, I certainly didn’t look.”

Hmmm.  She had her eyes shut every nursing session.  It’s good to know she was able to be embarrassed and have modesty at such a young age. Whatever.

As I picked up a box of the pads, I heard a gasp emit from Mattea’s lips and I looked over to see her staring at the baby bottle brushes.

“What?  Those are for scrubbing out baby bottles.  What’s the deal?”  I asked as I watched her with a horrific look spreading across her face.

“Mom, it says NIPPLE brushes.  They’re for NIPPLES.”

Again, I corrected my little overthinker as Caiden cracked up and Gunny remained oblivious.

God forbid I ever have another baby…

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