The Truth About Polar Bears

(Circa 2009)

Over the weekend, D-man took both grandpas and the chitlins’ out to our hunting cabin in the Mattole Valley. They claim it’s a “hunting” trip but in all reality, the only thing they bring back is a load of firewood and a lot of crushed beer cans. I don’t mind because it’s all about the family time and I truly appreciate the fact that my kids get to enjoy such a great bonding experience with both their grandpas and dad.

D-man shared with me a story that happened over dinnertime. The family had settled into a nice dinner which included a disgusting can of peas that Grandpa Dale tried to convince the kids to eat. Even D-man agreed that the peas resembled baby food more than something delicious and edible. While the kids whined their way through dinner, Papa Tom thought he’d lighten the mood with a little joke.

Papa Tom: Hey kids, do you know how to catch a polar bear?

Kids: Intrigued. No, how?

Papa Tom: You cut a hole in the ice.

Kids: Yeah.

Papa Tom: Then you take these here green peas and sprinkle them around the hole.

Kids: Huh? Clearly confused, they keep listening.

Papa Tom: When the polar bear comes in to take a peak, you kick him in the ice hole.

The kids erupted into tremendous laughter and there wasn’t a dry eye in the house. C-dub seemed to enjoy the joke the most as he had big, fat tears rolling down his chubby little cheeks. I don’t know that he necessarily understood it, but the whole idea that it sounded like a naughty word and you got to kick a bear in the big ‘ole butt was enough to do him in.

Cute joke. I just hope C-dub doesn’t repeat it on Friday Share Day.

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